Tuesday, March 11, 2008


Holy crap. I am this close to outright beating someone's ass in this Starbucks. I try not to write ranting blog posts, but this deserves an exception. So here's what happened:

I was sitting in my own little corner at Starbucks minding my own business. I got up to use the restroom. As I was walking, I noticed a lady walking behind me. I thought to myself, "Sweet, I'm gonna get to use the restroom before this lady does." I should note at this time that I hate using the restroom immediately after someone else does, especially public restrooms, which I hate in general. Don't even get me started on mall restrooms. I digress. Anyway, I opened the door to go into the restroom, which was a one-person-at-a-time kinda deal. In fact, I've never been to a Starbucks that didn't have a one-person-at-a-time restroom. So as I walked into the restroom, this lady started walking in after me. I turned around and gave her a weird look and she said, "Double?" This lady was clearly of Hispanic descent (by "Hispanic" I mean "Cuban." I am in Miami, after all) and I don't think she spoke much English, which is annoying in its own right. Learn the language of the country you're living in. So I just responded with, "Uh ... no." And I pointed at the ONE toilet. I had stepped aside a little while holding the door open so she could see that there was only one toilet and that she was going to have to wait until I was done. I don't know about you all, but I would think that at that point, it would be clear to anyone that she should just chill out and WAIT HER FUCKING TURN.

You're probably starting to get an idea of what this a-hole did next. She walked right past me and used her huge Cuban ass to SHUT THE DOOR, thus pushing me back out into the hall. I loudly whispered "BITCH" and banged my angrily closed fist on the door. I didn't really know what else to do, so I just stood there and waited for her to come back out. As she walked out I gave her my best "What the hell?" look, but it didn't phase her. She didn't even look at me. So I angrily did my business in the bathroom. I had no desire to get my ass kicked by some nasty Cuban lady.

Can you believe this crap? What an asshole, right?

Sorry for all the swearing. I'm pretty pissed off still. Now I'm back in my corner trying to figure out which car is hers so I can go outside and slash her tires.


Sarah said...

I just laughed out loud - really hard - at your expense. I needed that.

G as in Chris said...

Now this is a post that is after my own heart. That is a fantastic example of WIHP! Top work.

johnna said...

haha.. did you leave me shirts? i bet you didnt. and if you didnt, i bet thats why the cuban lady cut you. and if you did, well i dont know. :D