Bleh.

It feels like it's been an eternity since I last posted. It probably feels that way because my computer has been broken this whole time. Bummer. I came home Sunday night, so now I'm on my pile of crap Dell, but it'll have to do till the dudes at Megabyte can fix my Mac.

So my week with Maggie was fun, for the most part. I was being a real asshole for part of the time, so I felt kinda bad about that. Sorry, Mags. I don't know what my deal was. The majority of it was fun though. We got some hilarious pictures and videos, but I don't know where I put my camera, so that'll have to wait. I did learn one very important thing during my time with Maggie: Sonic Java Chillers are INCREDIBLY DELICIOUS. Anyway, photos later.

So now I'm home trying to get over my usual slump that always occurs when I come home from being on the road for awhile. I always sleep till noon on my first morning back and then spend the rest of the day being relatively unproductive. I was in a particularly bad mood yesterday, so I decided I might as well make an already bad day worse by doing my taxes. No sense in ruining any of my other days at home, eh? I thought I was prepared for my taxes, but nope. I had already paid in a couple grand, so I didn't think it would hurt so bad when I actually filed. Nonetheless, it did hurt. Let me tell you this: self-employment taxes are a huge bitch. That's all I have to say about that.

Well, I'm now on day 2 of being home and I'm still feelin' kinda bleh. I don't have time for this crap, so I'm gonna go for a run and try to shake it off and get movin. I've got an unbelievable amount of crap to do and I'd like to get a few long rides in, so I gotta get after it.

Party On!

Okay. I've cooled off a bit since my little "incident" with the rude lady in Miami. I had to work this week, so I really don't have that much exciting stuff to report. Kellen did send me a few photos and videos from Langerado, but I'm still having technical difficulties, so I'm only posting a couple:

The above photo was taken during my incredible dancing time. I've already told several of you the "incredible dancer" story, but for those of you who haven't heard it, this is how the conversation went:

ME: I like your dancing!

RANDOM STRANGER: Thanks!

ME: Do you like mine?

RANDOM STRANGER: Yeah!

ME: I know. I'm an incredible dancer!

I know. I'm ridiculous. I have no credible excuse. Here's a video of some of the incredible dancing (it's toward the end and you can't see it all that well, but whatev):

I recall feeling like I was doing a damn good job at dancing and being very concerned about getting the magic on record.

If you couldn't tell I was a) pretty stoked to be there and b) quite intoxicated.

I also got this sweet video from the Sound Tribe show. It was pretty intense to have some killer music, a wicked sweet light show, and an impending severe storm all at the same time:

Anywho, sorry I don't have a lot to write about. I've been working my ass off the last five days and I was fortunate enough to squeeze in two really good mountain bike rides, so I'm pretty spent. Don't worry though, I'm getting to hang with one of the best members of my crew this week. My friend Maggie hopped a plane from Wisconsin to come spend her Spring Break with me this week, so stay tuned for the hilarity.

RUDE.

Holy crap. I am this close to outright beating someone's ass in this Starbucks. I try not to write ranting blog posts, but this deserves an exception. So here's what happened:

I was sitting in my own little corner at Starbucks minding my own business. I got up to use the restroom. As I was walking, I noticed a lady walking behind me. I thought to myself, "Sweet, I'm gonna get to use the restroom before this lady does." I should note at this time that I hate using the restroom immediately after someone else does, especially public restrooms, which I hate in general. Don't even get me started on mall restrooms. I digress. Anyway, I opened the door to go into the restroom, which was a one-person-at-a-time kinda deal. In fact, I've never been to a Starbucks that didn't have a one-person-at-a-time restroom. So as I walked into the restroom, this lady started walking in after me. I turned around and gave her a weird look and she said, "Double?" This lady was clearly of Hispanic descent (by "Hispanic" I mean "Cuban." I am in Miami, after all) and I don't think she spoke much English, which is annoying in its own right. Learn the language of the country you're living in. So I just responded with, "Uh ... no." And I pointed at the ONE toilet. I had stepped aside a little while holding the door open so she could see that there was only one toilet and that she was going to have to wait until I was done. I don't know about you all, but I would think that at that point, it would be clear to anyone that she should just chill out and WAIT HER FUCKING TURN.

You're probably starting to get an idea of what this a-hole did next. She walked right past me and used her huge Cuban ass to SHUT THE DOOR, thus pushing me back out into the hall. I loudly whispered "BITCH" and banged my angrily closed fist on the door. I didn't really know what else to do, so I just stood there and waited for her to come back out. As she walked out I gave her my best "What the hell?" look, but it didn't phase her. She didn't even look at me. So I angrily did my business in the bathroom. I had no desire to get my ass kicked by some nasty Cuban lady.

Can you believe this crap? What an asshole, right?

Sorry for all the swearing. I'm pretty pissed off still. Now I'm back in my corner trying to figure out which car is hers so I can go outside and slash her tires.

Stupid Google.

I was all stoked to post some pictures of my family, my dog, and my weekend at Langerado, but no ... Google/Blogger is being a little bitch and not uploading my photos. Next time, I guess.

Anyway, my event in OKC was hella good. Not only were my friends and family in attendance, but we had over 100 women there, which is pretty damn good, especially for Oklahoma City. I'd like to show you some pictures, but we've already discussed why I can't.

So then I was home for one day this week, which I had originally planned on using for a day off. Not so much. I ended up with a to-do list a mile long and I only got about half of it done. Oh well. Then I took off for Florida again. I left my house later than I planned, as usual, so I had to book it to get down to the Everglades for Langerado, which was incredible. We had to endure thunderstorms, freakishly bitter cold (for S. Florida, anyway), and fire ants, but it was worth it. I don't have any pictures yet because we took all of them with Kellen's camera, but I promise to post them when he sends them. We got some hilarious videos too.

Highlights from the weekend include:

• Meeting some super cool new friends around our campsite and hanging with them all weekend.
• Eating the most delicious corn dog I've ever had.
  
• Watching all the ridiculous things that go on at music festivals.
  
• Incredible dancing.
• Seeing some great music from STS9, Railroad Earth, Beastie Boys, The New MasterSounds, Thievery Corporation, and Disco Biscuits.
  
• Seeing R.E.M.
  

I wasn't really all that excited about R.E.M. until we actually saw them. They put on a great show. They played a couple of their classic songs and then a couple off their upcoming album. I particularly liked their performance of a song called Houston off their new album, including Michael Stipe's introduction to the song where he said:

"I'm sick to death of being told by top politicians what I should be afraid of and what I should fear. I think I'm smart enough and old enough and experienced enough and wise enough to know what I should fear. And what I fear is politicians telling me what to fear. What I want is politicians who speak of hope."

It was pretty cool, I thought. Maybe you just had to be there. Or you could just watch the video someone took of it:



Anywho, I've been spending today just trying to get back to functioning like a normal human, or as close as I can get, anyway. I don't have any events until Wednesday night, so I'm hanging out down in Miami. I'm trying to get a lot done today so I can go paddle my boat tomorrow and take advantage of the beautiful weather.

Over and out.

Moving Right Along.

I had to leave San Antonio on Thursday, but first, we made time for a mountain bike ride. My pal Laura has always been pretty adventurous, so it would have been a shame not to go ride bikes together. All I have to say is that the trails were too confusing, but I had a great time anyway. If you want details, Laura has summed up the morning quite nicely here. I will go ahead and post my two favorite pictures from the morning's festivities.

Laura knows what's up and has the same camera that I do. So I showed her how to use the self-timer on hers. You should have seen me haulin' ass up those stairs after I pushed the button on the camera.

I learned the hard way that if you go down a hot slide headfirst, you'll burn your tummy.

So then I had to leave my borrowed family behind and make my way to Austin for work. I have a lot to say about that, but this is not an appropriate forum for that discussion. A friend of mine (Jodie) who I met last year through another friend (Julie) let me stay at her place in Austin, so that was a pretty good bonus. Jodie is one of very few people I know who likes to read as much as I do. Plus, she took me to Homeslice, which I was pretty stoked about. The great thing about Jodie is how our effortless friendship fits in perfectly with my laziness.

Those of you who have been following along the last few weeks might remember mention of my day at the Sea Food Festival with Kellen. He finally sent me some pictures.

While we were enjoying some delicious crab cakes, this drunk guy came and sat by us and kept offering us some of his crawfish. Then he didn't know how to eat the crawfish, so some lady had to show him. Then he offered us his crawfish again. It was funny, but annoying. That's him next to me .

We saw this sign on the way back to the car. Actually, this yard had two of them. I resisted the urge to take one even though it would have looked really sweet on the door of my trailer.

The festival was supposed to be closed for the night, but we found this petting zoo and couldn't help ourselves. Here's Kellen molesting a chicken.

Well, kids, I'm in the midst of a pretty busy week, so I should really get to sleep now. I'm pretty excited about my event tomorrow night because MY MOM is coming. Also, MY DAD and MY SISTERS are coming. I love MY MOM and MY DAD and MY SISTERS. I've also got a few really good friends from my high school days coming. I've got to be sure I don't screw this up. Don't worry. I'm sure there will be some hilarity either way and I'm sure you'll hear about it.

Oh, and Chris, I see you're throwing down the gauntlet here, with your two posts in two days. But I know you. This is a fluke. Your relentless blogging will not last. I was flattered you mentioned my voicemail though.