Monday, October 08, 2007

time flies ...

As usual, I really don't know where to start. The last time you heard from me, I was at home getting ready to go work my ass off at Interbike. I did, in fact, work hella hard there. I did get a couple chances to ride mountain bikes in the desert, which turned out to be really cool. It was weird at first, since there were no trees and I've always equated mountain biking with trees, but then it was pretty sweet. Now I can sort of understand why people like the west so much. Our last ride there was one that we kinda squeezed in right before dark. We're slow, so the last quarter or so of our ride was by moonlight, which was alright, since there were no trees. There are plenty of stories that go along with a week in Vegas, but I'm going to leave those out for now. I also really should have taken more pictures, but the only one I took was this one on that last ride:

I flew home from Vegas and was warmly greeted at the airport by all three of my roommates. Pip even worked really hard to make me this sign:

It's a little hard to read in the picture, but it says: Rossina. I hope UR pretty as your picture in the catalog. Thanks mailorderbrides.com! Dumbass couldn't even spell my name right. Oh well. It was well worth the effort. Thanks Pip!

After Vegas, I was home for two days and then I took off for Orlando. I did some events and then had some time to go for a ride. The trails around here aren't anything like the trails back in Arkansas. For starters, this state is flatter than .... crap, I don't know .... something that's really flat. They make up for it with a shit ton of unnecessary turns and stuff. It was alright though, it's just hard to get a good workout in on stuff like that. In any case, I did see this huge ass turtle just kickin' it next to the trail. I think he was mad, cause he hissed at me a lot:

Sorry you had a bad day, little dude.

I always like to get at least one picture of every trail, so here's the one:

After I finished things up in central Florida, I had a couple of days off, so laid around at my friend Kellen's house for a little while before heading down toward Miami to get a ride in on one of about three trails in south Florida. On the way from the car to the trail, I ran into what is probably the ugliest creature I have ever seen in person:

Bleh. It looked all pissed off. Then again, I guess I would be pretty pissed off too if I looked like that.

So I found the trail. It was nice to be out on my bike, but I have to say, there's a reason mountain biking isn't that popular around here. It sucks. So I rode for about 45 minutes, and was a little irritated the whole time about how crappy the riding here is. Then I quit paying much attention and started to let my mind wander. This was a bad thing. I came around a corner and hit a root and did this weird sideways endo thing. It's hard to explain, but all you really need to know is that I ended up on my ass with my bike on top of me. After that I was like, "fuck this," and I headed back to the car. After careful examination, I realized that I had hurt the following: my pride, my hip, and my calf:

Yeah. There's a pretty good chunk of my skin missing there. Ow. Actually, it didn't really hurt that bad until my "friend" Becky poured rubbing alcohol all over it and then started prodding it like a stupid science experiment. But maybe now it won't leave a nasty scar.

After giving up on biking for the day, I decided it was about time to bust out the kayak. I took a little cruise up and down parts of the Oleta River. One thing I figured out is that if you're scared of alligators, then everything pretty much looks like an alligator.

This little bridge thingy was kinda cool, but I didn't go under it. I thought, "If I were an alligator, I'd totally hang out under there ... all Billy Goats Gruff style." So I just took a picture instead. The rest of the river was ... pretty river-like:

As I was heading back toward the take-out point, I saw these little dudes up on shore:

See the funny guy on the left? I like to think he was smiling at me. I followed them along the bank for a little while and was able to get another good picture of them:

I got so close to them that I could have reached out with my paddle and smacked one of them upside the face, but I didn't. It didn't take me that long to get bored with them. All they did was eat stuff and then put their paws in the water.

I took my boat out, put it back in my trailer, and avoided the piercing stares of some Cubans nearby. Then I realized ... "crap, I need a shower." I noticed a bike wash nearby. The wheels started turnin' and pretty soon it was a Ross wash. So for the second time this week, I showered outside with a hose. It's actually surprisingly pleasant and it really saves a lot of time. Although it's probably not gonna work out so well for me once the weather starts to get a little colder.

Alright. I'm kinda tired and I have a lot of crap to do tomorrow. I'm out.

8 comments:

Johnna said...

uhh you probably shouldnt ride up and down rivers like that...you worry me

Kris said...

Random comments...
1. Pip's sign=hilarious! :)
2. Umm, so I thought that funky crab looking thing was what tore up your calf when I first scanned thru the pictures...glad it wasn't. Except it still almost made me throw up.
3. That river looks like the scene of a horror movie where a blonde headed adventurer gets eaten by a few hundred alligators. I would've been paranoid too!
4. I do hope the Ross wash involves some amount of clothing.

Kristin said...

Dude, I hope you're up-to-date on your tetanus shots. That's a pretty heinous wound.

OMG CRANKY RACCOONS.

Leah said...

Things that are flat:
pancakes
tortillas
a table top
Kansas
your chest (zing!)
the dr. pepper in the bottle under your passenger seat which you probably bought 5 weeks ago
Pip's mailorderbride.com sign

Andrea said...

Why is there no mention of alcohol in this entire post? You didn't feed any to the raccoons or use it to numb the pain while Becky poured rubbing alcohol on your wound? No 40 in hand while washing yourself down with a hose? I'm disappointed in you Ross. I have to say though, Pip's sign makes up for the lack of drinking references in this post.

Anonymous said...

Random thoughts just looking at the photos: Pip's cute, hopefully that crab didn't crawl out of your "judy", I bet there was/has been a dead body in that swampy river and the racoons ate it, and finally...thank god you shaved your legs for the documented injury photo!!

Chad said...

I told you to stay away from those mountain bikes, and the turtle tried to warn you also. Fat tire bikes will throw you off for no good reason. Now you can't make fun of me for getting a little chain grime on my calf. Puncture wounds are much more "newby".

Sarah said...

This was a very critter-inspired post. You should have your own show on TLC or something. I'd watch it. Though it may not be "PG" enough for TLC. You might have to have an HBO show...

I've never taken a shower outside with a hose. That shouldn't be too surprising.